Read: Chapters 9 and 10 in Technical Communication. Chapter 10 is not the most interesting chapter, so break up the reading into smaller chunks and focus on the grammatical and stylistic things that cause you trouble in your own writing.
Prepare:
For Chapter 9
In your notes, complete all six exercises at the end of chapter 9 (p. 213-214). You will be randomly called on in class on Tuesday to answer one or more of the questions from those exercises. Your in-class assignment points will come from your ability to answer those questions quickly and correctly in class, so be prepared! You will not submit your notes, so take them in whatever format works for you, but do have them available in class.
Exercises 1 and 2 ask you to write paragraph-length evaluations. You may write the paragraphs or simply take notes so you can orally report your evaluation of the titles/headings. For Exercise 3, rewrite the list as directed. Exercises 4-6 are fill in the blank, so just fill in the blanks!
Write:
For Chapter 10
Correct the sentences in the exercise to which you are assigned at the end of the chapter (p. 244-247). Be ready to read your corrections aloud and provide an explanation for your revisions.
Exercise 1. Ben
Exercise 2. Natalie
Exercise 3. Brooke
Exercise 4. Josh
Exercise 5. Zino
Exercise 6. Tom
Exercise 7. Sarah
Exercise 8. Payton
Exercise 9. Brianne
Exercise 10. CJ
Exercise 11. Andy
Exercise 12. Alexis
Exercise 13. Grace
Exercise 14. Macci
Exercise 15. Abbey
Exercise 16. Marla
Exercise 17. Colten
Exercise 18. Spencer
Exercise 19. Alex
Exercise 20. Madelaine
Post your revised sentences for the assigned exercise as a comment to the blog. Following those corrections, post a paragraph that answers the following questions.
1. What grammatical or stylistic issues are most difficult for you to correct in your writing?
2. What have you done to address those issues?
3. What strategy or strategies do you commonly use to eliminate errors and improve the clarity of your writing?
4. What strategy or strategies should you use to eliminate errors and improve the clarity of your writing? You may want to do a quick search for proofreading strategies to get ideas for other ways to approach this stage of the writing process as you answer this question.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
22 comments:
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13. a. Pollution is a threat to the Matthews Wildlife Preserve.
ReplyDeleteb. The gumming tendency of four tire types will be evaluated by comparing the amount of rubber scraped from the tires.
Two grammatical or stylistic issues that are difficult for me is being concise and avoiding overly long sentences. These issues go together and occur most often when I am writing a lengthy paper. I tend to want to make the sentences long to either help increase the length of the paper, or explain my thoughts all in one sentence. Being a communication major and journalism minor, I like to be creative in my writing. However, this can cause my sentences to run on or seem wordy. To address these issues, I proofread my work several times, often aloud. By reading out loud, I can get a better idea of if my sentences sound too lengthy or wordy. To eliminate errors in my writing, I often go back after I have written something and change small details. Sometimes, when writing, I want to just get the paper over with and finish it hastily. This causes my sentence structure to not be as effective as it needs to be. Reading it over on a different day gives me a fresh perspective of the paper without feeling frustrated. I also read out loud certain portions of my work to my roommates to get their opinion of my writing and if they can understand it. They will be honest about what I need to clarify or improve. The strategies I listed are all helpful, but there is more that I could do. For example, printing out a hard copy of my work to write and correct on while proofreading would be helpful. An interesting strategy is to read my paper backwards, from the end to beginning. This would make me focus on each individual sentence’s grammatical structure.
9.a. Galileo was paid for his belief that the Earth revolved around the Sun.
ReplyDeleteb. All the seminars were finished by the time I arrived at 3:00 Thursday afternoon.
Two grammatical or stylistic issues that are difficult for me are avoiding run-on sentences and unnecessary jargon. Both of them go hand in hand, extra wording is the reason for long run-on sentences. When writing a paper my main goal is reaching the amount of pages I need so I try to make the sentences as long as possible adding unnecessary wording. By adding more to the sentence it becomes a run-on. To address these issues, I will read over my paper. When I read over my paper I necessary don’t catch every aspect that needs to be caught, so I will ask a friend to read over my paper too. As they say two eyes are better than one. Also I sometimes will walk away from the paper for a while and come back to it, if I am having trouble. Usually with writing a lengthy paper I just want to get done, rushing through it and not thinking clearly what I am putting in a sentence. Also reading over my paper alone or with someone else is another way to catch my mistakes. Things I should do when writing my paper is giving myself enough time to write the recommended amount, not rushing to get it done. Another thing I should do is print out a hard copy and find my mistakes from there. It is easier to find mistakes in a hard copy.
2. a) Porsche had won the J.D. Power new-model satisfaction award more than any other car maker. The German company is expected to win next year, too.
ReplyDeleteb) The federal Bureau of Safety and Environmental Enforcement is developing new regulations for offshore oil and gas operations in the Arctic; these regulations are expected to be ready for review later this year.
Some of the grammatical issues that I struggle with are commas and unnecessary jargon. The first issue is the because sometimes when I write I have many thoughts at once and I have to get them all down so I don’t forget it. But when I get like that, I don’t always think about grammar and I overlook it when I proof read. Unnecessary jargon usually becomes an issue when I have to meet a length requirement and I have run out of things of worth to say. When that happens, I usually resort to making what was concise wordy and ramble about something to meet the requirement. I usually proofread my work but I don’t always catch errors, so I try to have someone else read my work, as well. When I get stuck writing I usually look back closely at what I have written already. I should read my work aloud or have it read to me aloud, so that I can hear the mistakes. I should also print out a copy to proofread because it is easier to find errors on paper rather than on a screen. I tend to look at things as a whole, so going sentence by sentence would probably help me notice the smaller grammatical issues.
Exercise 4
ReplyDeletea) Kathleen Norris is in charge of analyzing the summer semester orientation session, a conference expected to last 5 days.
b) Of the seventeen sports at the University, the football and basketball programs combined to post the highest revenue of $1.9 million last year.
The most difficult issue for me in writing is clarifying the pronouns antecedent. In order to try to fix this, when proof reading my papers I check complicated sentences to ensure I understand what action my verb is taking and if I know what noun it’s referring to. Using Word helps fix my obvious grammatical errors, but proofreading my writing when I’m done catches less obvious mistakes word can miss. Successful strategies could include: reading your writing aloud to listen for errors, go slow and read one sentence at a time, look for your personal patterns of error, and finally try to read from your reader’s point of view as if you have no information on the subject besides what you are currently reading.
1. Samples from the survey are subject to sampling and nonsampling errors.
ReplyDelete2. The typical question received at our call centers is not answered in any of the user guides.
The most difficult issues to for me to correct in my writing are commas. I either become comma happy, or use run-ons. In order to fix this issue, I have people re-read my documents before I turn them in if it is something extremely professional. In order to address the comma issue, I either look it up or I ask someone who is knowledgeable about the topic. I also try to be eager to learn about grammar (minus taking grammar here). Even though it can be a boring subject and something that students start learning at an early age, it’s nearly impossible to be perfect and 100% confident with grammar. In order to eliminate errors, like stated earlier, I have someone proofread my document after I have already proof read it. It is hard for me to catch my own errors in a document that I have been working on for an extended period of time. I become frustrated with it and mentally clocked out. Having someone else look over it helps eliminate errors. Many times, I email a document to my mom to look over. She deals a lot with technical writing in the workplace, so she is a major help. To eliminate errors in the future, I should proofread paragraphs as I type them. Reading a whole paper and trying to proofread it is tedious and exhausting. I become bored after a page. Proofreading after each paragraph allows me to concentrate on a smaller piece of text at a time.
12.
ReplyDeletea) There was a decrease in the number of students enrolled in our training sessions.
( has been took away the importance of the subject )
b) In-store demonstrations has resulted in a dramatic increase in business.
( same with this sentence, “The use of” took away the importance of the subject )
I think the most difficult grammatical or stylistic issues for me are comma splices or run on sentences and the use of overly long or overly short sentence structure. Rereading the sentence a few times out loud helps me try to correct the errors because i can hear the flow of the sentence on whether it makes sense or not. I think the key to eliminating errors is to revise as much as possible or have others read your writing to notice errors. Strategies I should do to help improve my writing include reading the piece as if I’m the audience, read one sentence at a time thoroughly, and read backwards. Also, I should pay close attention to the way I arrange my sentences.
19.
ReplyDelete(a.) We made mistakes.
(b.) Come to the reception desk when you arrive. You can pick up a packet with your name on it there.
I use too many wordy phrases and fancy words in technical writing. This is because, in academic writing, I was taught to avoid using any first-person pronouns, so I am used to rephrasing sentences to omit them. I also try to vary the sentence structures and words that I use, but that may not always be appropriate in formal writing. Up to this point, I haven't done anything about my writing, since it was always sufficient for academic writing. However, technical writing has different requirements, so I will try to go back and revise my work multiple times for conciseness. For proofreading, I go back and re-read my work after some time has passed, which usually allows me to notice most errors. When still in doubt, I ask others to read my work and critique it for me. However, I should proofread multiple times, checking for specific types of errors each time. I should also read the work aloud at least once to force myself to hear how it sounds. Finally, I should try reading from back to front in order to catch errors I would otherwise gloss over by getting caught up in the meaning behind the words.
18.
ReplyDeleteA. The biggest problems faced by multimedia designers is the unwillingness to make designs without the assistance of computer software.
B. If the University of Arizona cannot figure out where to dump its low-level radioactive waste, the government could pull the plug on millions of dollars of research grants.
The largest issue I have stylistically in my writing that I am aware of is compound sentences. I do not have a great feel for when one thought ends and another begins. So I tend to use multiple commas in one sentence in order to keep the thought together. This way, i know in my mind that these thoughts can be broken into two sentences even though i’m not sure at the time how, and address it in the revision process. If i think a sentence is not clear, i repeat it multiple times to see what part of the sentence sounds strange and change the phrasing. One strategy that I came across on Purdue OWL was role-playing. Similar to reading a sentence aloud and trying to find what sounds strange. The difference is that you put yourself in the shoes of another person reading your paper as if you had never seen the document before. This way I can better understand how my sentences should be structured so they can be read without confusion.
Exercise 11
ReplyDeletea) I need a figure on the surrender value of a policy, the number of the policy is A4399827, can you get this figure by tomorrow?
b) The supervisor is responsible for processing the outgoing mail and maintaining and operating the equipment
1. The thing I struggle with most in writing has to be run on sentences. I will get stuck on an idea and just keep going on and on about it.
2. Revision is the best thing to do to fix these issues.
3. If I write a few sentences then reread through them, I find that I can correct small errors before they turn into big ones.
4. If I start with a draft or something to help sort out my ideas better, it will help me with my mistakes
Andy Kurilla
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ReplyDeleteExercise 20
ReplyDeletea)The hydrochloric acid spill in the organic chemistry lab caused irreversible corrosion to the beaker cabinet’s door.
b)Composition analysis of the soil beneath the new football stadium revealed traces of lead that proves violation of waste disposal protocol.
The most difficult part of this assignment was adding specific information. I wanted the new sentences to inform and make sense. I corrected this issue by researching actual issues. There are real dangers with chemical spills and interesting facts behind soil composition. To eliminate errors in my writing I read over my text. After proof reading I send the document to both peers and professionals. The professionals are experienced and will know how to give solid advice while my peers can give input of understanding at my age group. Purdue Owl recommends having a list of what to look for when proof reading. This is a new idea to me that I believe will be effective. Also, Purdue Owl suggests reading from the end of the document. Both of these are great strategies I can utilize next time I proof read.
C.J. Kirchner
ReplyDeleteA.
When we get the contract we must be ready by June 1st, with the necessary personnel and equipment needed for the project. So with this in mind we are going to schedule a staff meeting for February 12th, which all group managers are expected to attend.
B.
Although, we had a short discussion with Baker’s legal staff, we are unable to get them to specify what they would be looking for in an out-of-court settlement. They did give a strong impression that they would rather settle out of court.
Punctuation is the worst for me I constantly have to guess, or ask someone else to help with them. This is because I do not understand what they all mean I know when to use commas, but I have issues when needing to put a semi colon or a colon. I also tend to have to long of sentences instead of breaking up information into more sentences so it is easier to read. I try my best, and then I ask someone to read my paper, and tell me what they think of the punctuations. Then I will even ask them if I should change these or if they are right. I tend to ask questions when it comes to writing, and I’ll ask someone who I have full fail and trust in their writing skills. I need to work on eliminating useless and or unnecessary words. Also, I need to accept that my first drive is most likely crap, and I will need to edit it ruthlessly. I do have a jump on it with having a patient editor who knows how I write and they know what to expect.
C.J. Kirchner
ReplyDeleteA.
When we get the contract we must be ready by June 1st, with the necessary personnel and equipment needed for the project. So with this in mind we are going to schedule a staff meeting for February 12th, which all group managers are expected to attend.
B.
Although, we had a short discussion with Baker’s legal staff, we are unable to get them to specify what they would be looking for in an out-of-court settlement. They did give a strong impression that they would rather settle out of court.
Punctuation is the worst for me I constantly have to guess, or ask someone else to help with them. This is because I do not understand what they all mean I know when to use commas, but I have issues when needing to put a semi colon or a colon. I also tend to have to long of sentences instead of breaking up information into more sentences so it is easier to read. I try my best, and then I ask someone to read my paper, and tell me what they think of the punctuations. Then I will even ask them if I should change these or if they are right. I tend to ask questions when it comes to writing, and I’ll ask someone who I have full fail and trust in their writing skills. I need to work on eliminating useless and or unnecessary words. Also, I need to accept that my first drive is most likely crap, and I will need to edit it ruthlessly. I do have a jump on it with having a patient editor who knows how I write and they know what to expect.
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ReplyDeleteZino Efenedo
ReplyDeleteExercise V.
A- Children with disabilities face a different experience from what adults with disabilities face.
B- Universities enter into contract with food service providers more than hospitals do.
The common grammatical issues I encounter are sentence fragments and comma splices. For me, I just keep on writing and when I read through I feel what I wrote was correct until my professor shows me all the mistakes I made splicing two independent clauses. I also make the mistake of using periods where it is not supposed to be located sometimes. The strategies I use is reading over my texts, my roommate to read and show me errors also and I rely on my roommates experience because he is an English final year student, then I send a copy to my professor for proof reading and ask for corrections before I submit the final draft. In order to eliminate errors, I should write a paragraph and read through before advancing to the next paragraph because, I sometimes just pour out every taught in my mind then come back and start deleting words that do not match. One way I found in a write up from Capella University was reading aloud to myself which for me sounds awkward but I will give it a try on my next paper. The write up also suggested reading the paper backwards sentence by sentence and suggested reading it backwards aloud also.
Exercise 16:
ReplyDeletea)Incorrect: Over the past three years we have estimates that eight hours per week are spent on this problem.
Modified: We have estimated that eight hours per week were spent on this problem over the past three years.
b)Incorrect: Information provided by this program is displayed at the close of the business day on the information board.
Modified: At the close of the business day, information provided by this program is on the information board.
1)I had the biggest problem with the second sentence because it was hard to identify the misplaced modifier. I had to read the incorrect sentence several times to understand what the point of the sentence even was.
2)To address this issue I rearranged the sentence to understand what the point of the sentence was. Once I found the modifier, I had a better understanding on how to arrange the sentence in a way that was more logical and made more sense.
3)When writing, I often reread my sentences to make sure that they are correct. I often find myself writing how I would talk, and that comes across as unprofessional. Once I go back through my writing I read it out loud to make sure it sounds correct and logical.
4)Besides rereading my writing out loud, it is helpful to look for patterns in errors. Many times if I make one writing mistake in my paper I most likely made it several more times. Being able to identify these errors will result in a quicker and more efficient proofread.
exercise 17
ReplyDeleteA)To examine the chemical homogeneity, one plaque was cut into nine sections.
B) The boats in production could be modified for the February debut, by choosing this method.
1)I ended up having trouble with my second sentence. I had to read it over multiple time to identify the problem.
2) I was able to identify the problem by simply writing out the sentence in several different ways to find the dangling modifier.
3)When writing, I often have others proof read my progress throughout my paper. I also read out loud to help me identify problems.
4)The strategy I plan to use in the future is proof reading more slowly and print out hard copies. I often rush when I proof read and I read from the computer which can cause problems.
Exercise 6
ReplyDelete6a) More Latinos in the United States than ever are watching the news programs on English-language television.
b) There are 4 parking spots on campus available only to Nobel Prize-winning faculty.
As a non-English major these two chapters were hard for me to spot inconsistencies in the text or come up with original sentences. If I see a sentence I like or that uses a turn of phrase I use in particular I am more likely to leave it in even though it may not do much to enhance the rest of the work overall. I think I will have to start slowing down when I am writing or proofread more at the end to catch myself for writing poor or misleading sentences. I just try to focus on the writing more or don’t write with other distractions going on such as music or videos. I should ask my roommate or someone else to look over my work when submitting a paper for a class. Other people tend to notice things we ourselves begin to gloss over if we read the same thing enough times.
The next two sections of the manual discuss how to analyze and draw conclusions from data and how to decide what steps are needed before establishing a journal list.
ReplyDeleteWe should include a copy of the documentation, the cables, and the docking station in the box.
Wow. After I read these two chapters, I am worried that everything I write is incorrect in some way, shape, or form. I find that ambiguity, wordy phrases, and fancy words are the most difficult for me to correct in my writing. Also, because I had to work with parallelism for this assignment, I am second-guessing myself in this area of my writing, as well. I experienced a lot of trouble with overthinking the sentence restructuring of Exercise 14. If I get a chance, I read my writing out loud to listen for mistakes. Most of the time, I will ask my roommate to listen to sentences I am having trouble with. I mainly notice my use of fancy words, but I like them in some instances. I can see, however, how they are an issue for technical writing. After I looked up proofreading strategies I decided I should consider printing out a hard copy to edit from, rather than a computer screen. I also liked the idea of reading my writing from the end, so that I am paying attention to the individual sentences and not paying attention to the ideas.
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ReplyDelete3) a. A group of US scientists has encoded a 53,000-word book entirely in DNA. This means DNA could become a future means of storing large amounts of data.
ReplyDeleteb. Now you can burn your digital music library to DVDs; burning to DVDs gives you a significant increase in storage space (4.7 Gb for a standard DVD v. 700 Mb for a CD).
Sentence fragments and run on sentences are my biggest grammatical or stylistic problems when writing a paper. I try to avoid writing run on sentences, which in turn most of the time gives me a sentence fragment. In the other way I try to avoid sentence fragments and then don’t know where to cut off the sentence. For both problems I am trying to work on my punctuation and just focus on not over correcting a situation. I like to write a part and then look it over to try and find any errors that may have occurred when I was writing it. This also helps with clarity cause if I can fix the paper paragraph by paragraph, it should help to whole paper from being unclear. I should make a layout of exactly what my key topic are. I should also take more time to proof read my paper, instead of just proof reading while writing; I should take time when it is completely done to revise it.
Exercise 1
ReplyDeletea) Original – Nine bones from a Pacific walrus that were found in a coffin beneath St. Pancras Railway Station in London.
Rewrite – Nine bones from a Pacific walrus were found in a coffin beneath St. Pancras Railway Station in London.
b) Original – The physical impossibility of knowing both the position and the momentum of a particle at the same time.
Rewrite – It is physically impossible to know both the position and the momentum of a particle at the same time.
I think since I don’t write all that often, I have an underdeveloped writing style which can cause issues simply because I don’t know enough about writing. Besides this, I do have grammatical mistakes which I usually find by rereading my writing and making sure that it makes sense. As for strategies, I will print it out to reread it and that way, I see it a bit differently. Along with printing out my writing, reading it out loud will help my find my mistakes, along with planning time for proofreading. If I leave proofreading without much time, I will be more likely to miss my mistakes.